i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
