Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
