I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
