they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
