Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
