I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I did not marry a roomba.
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