nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
