After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize