I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
