And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
