hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
