Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
