i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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