So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
