I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think people are normalizing furries
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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