He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
