i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
