I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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