Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
