please come you make the beer taste better
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
