no, he came in my armpit
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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