So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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