Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
