we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
