K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
