So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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