real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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