Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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