She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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