How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
