i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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