i just google imaged poop.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
