Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
