You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
