I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
