Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't like sucking hair
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
