And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
