Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
