are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
