A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
