Im at strip club and am horny
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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