So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
