So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
