We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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