The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
soo... how was my night?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
