you have to choose: penises or morals?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
