I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
