We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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