it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
