She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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