Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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