4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
