My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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