thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
