Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
