this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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