on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need water and some morals
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
