It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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