i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
